What if we could choose what we wanted to feel and what mood we wanted to be in every moment of every day?
An emotion is an immediate response/or reaction to something and doesn’t last long, the feeling is what comes after and then you might be in a “mood”.
But what if, say, you have a negative emotion like anger which would normally turn to frustration and then you would be left in a mood of anger and frustration which is the lens that you see and feel everything else through for the time that you are in that mood. But what if you could feel the emotion and pause just long enough to feel the emotion, let it pass and choose to feel happy and at peace, and be in a mood that is equal to that feeling?
I have just been made aware that I have been making these choices without really knowing what I’m doing. Until I was reading “Permission to Feel” by Marc Brackett PH.D for one of my classes tonight in bed. I just got out of bed to write this, after I put the book down and tried to sleep this thought came to me…” wait a second I just did this!”
Here’s my story from today: I haven’t had a cigarette in two days and my morning did not start off the best. I sat for three hours preparing our taxes and by the time I was done the final number caused waves of emotions, I was shocked, angry, fearful, the list goes on. I already, in my head, had us living in our car and begging for money, I know I can be quite extreme. My very next thought was “fuck this I am going to buy cigarettes” …but that made me lol, what was going to spend ten dollars on poison going to do to help me pay this soon to be bill….nothing I would be down ten bucks, self-loathing, and filling my lungs with poison. Plus, I know money comes and goes and really at this point in my growth I don’t worry about it. We can be down to our last dollar the day before payday, and I just count my blessings and wait for more to come. So why is this number putting me on the path of self-destruction right now?!
I put my computer away and went to take a shower as an outward expression of washing all those emotions down the drain. I got out and started to feel defeated and blah, the emotion was gone but here come the feeling and ready to set the mood of my day! I noticed it and thought “nope that’s not what I want today!!” Here’s the next important thing that happened after noticing/naming the emotion that was turning into the feelings, and naming what feelings/Mood I did want for my day. I asked myself “what has worked in the past to bring me out of this mood and into joy and happiness?”
I went through my toolbox:
Tapping? No that works better for me when I need motivation or I’m feeling deep sadness.
Journaling? No that works great for my anxiety, sadness, manifesting and monkey mind.
NEXT! I got It! I need to move; I need to listen to music that raises my vibration!
I put on my workout playlist got hyped and did some yoga and a fast walk just shy of a jog on the treadmill. Man, I was pumped and feeling joyful and confident. I started doing some chores and writing my other blog post in my head while music was blaring, and I was dancing. I did not feel that dread or defeat the rest of today, even when I had to repeat the number on the bill to my husband over dinner. 🤣
What is most important here is to be able to connect to your inner being enough that you notice these emotions and ride the wave but stop before it becomes a feeling and sets your mood. Pause and ask yourself is this the feeling I want or the mood I want to hang over my entire day? Make the choice to either ride that emotion straight into those feelings and mood or want different for your day. Last but certainly not least know your tools in your toolbox or the antidotes that you know can change the course of your feelings and mood! The only way to make any of this work is to pause a lot, it does feel like work at first, and notice how you react to emotions. What is triggering those emotions, where will those emotions take you (what feelings are coming and what mood will you land in), do you like that destination, and what works to take you from one feeling to another.
I encourage you to take the first step today and just notice and apply different tools to take you from where you are to where you want to be! In the book I mentioned above “Permission to feel” Marc refers to “Emotional Intelligence” and to get there to be a Scientist of your own emotional being!
I would love to hear from you! Please leave your comments and any questions that come up for you!
As always, I thank you for reading this late-night epiphany blog post and I hope you stay on this journey with me!
Sending blessing and lots of love to you!